Always and Forever
by Alydrial
Summary: My take on the events that occurred after the Return of the Jedi and during the celebration at the end of the movie. Anakin speaks to both Obi-Wan and Padmé and seeks redemption.


** Since I'm obliged to put a disclaimer here, I will. What on earth made you think I possibly own Star Wars? Really...**

**All right. I know that the scene after Return of the Jedi has been done many times by many people. Actually, I didn't intend to write it. My brain just would not leave me alone until I did. It was written in the middle of the night, no less. So without further ado, the little vignette scene after (and during) Return of the Jedi...**

* * *

It was dark. He had the distinct sensation of falling, but the surface beneath him was flat. He heard the sound of stirring water and felt the coarse sand on his neck. His eyes worked after a moment; he was on a beach, lying flat on his back. He sat up and looked around. He could see a beach, and the water, but it was dark. He felt very different. Where was his suit? He looked down at himself and saw, to his astonishment, that he was _young _again. He had both arms, both legs, one hand... He reached up and felt his face. It was unburned.

"Where am I?" he asked to no one in particular.

"This is the afterlife," a familiar voice said, but he could not place its owner, nor could he see who spoke.

"It looks like Naboo," he said, suddenly recognizing the place.

"It does. But perhaps that's specific to you."

"Why am I here? Here, in this afterlife? I deserve to burn with the other Sith," he said bitterly as his memories came flooding back. Why was he here? And why was he young again?

"That, Anakin, is precisely why you are here. The Force pulled you to _this _place. There must be a reason why; the Force knows what it's doing."

"I'm here _because _I deserve endless suffering?"

"No. Because you _realize _it. You've shown remorse," the voice said. Something in the phrase was familiar; Anakin was able to place the speaker: Obi-Wan. A wave of guilt washed over him. Here he was before the man who had been his teacher, his friend, his brother. The man he had killed in cold blood.

"Remorse isn't enough to pay for all I've done," he spat.

"You killed the Emperor," Obi-Wan said.

"I killed many. And one act of goodness cannot outweigh the thousand bad."

"No, it cannot," Obi-Wan admitted.

"Then we're back where we started. I deserve the consequence. I'm evil. Why am I here? And why am I this age again?"

"No, I do not believe that you are evil. I believe that the Emperor was, and that Darth Vader was."

"I am Vader."

"You are Anakin. Anakin is your true self. That is why you appear as young as you are; for that is when Anakin died."

"But I–"

"Vader did–does–live in you," Obi-Wan explained. "He was the manifestation of your fears, your pain, your anger and hatred. But he is not you, Anakin. As Master Yoda once said, the Force lives in each of us, both the Dark and the Light. One cannot exist without the other but one must always dominate. You allowed your fears to take hold of you and the Darkness rose–but the Light was still there, somewhere. 'There's good in him still,' were the last words Padmé spoke. She was right. As was Luke."

At the mention of Padmé, Anakin's heart raced. Could she be here? Her face appeared before him. He had dreamed of her every night since her death, regretting, wishing, mourning.

"They were right. Your final acts allowed Light once again to rule you."

"The Force must always be in balance. I must suffer for what I have done. My final acts cannot redeem me."

"Have you not suffered already, these past twenty-three years?"

"Not enough to compensate."

"Perhaps not. But you are _willing _to. Willing to bring balance to yourself. And so it is already done. I do not know why you were brought here; but the Force is never wrong. You have been redeemed. Whether by your last acts or your first, I cannot say. As for those in between, I do not know. You, Anakin, were never evil. You were afraid. You sought to protect those you loved. I will not argue the point of everything that Vader has done–but Vader is _not _you, or you _would _be suffering even more, there with the Sith."

"But the Dark Side–"

"The Dark will always be in you, as it is in each of us. It must be there, but it does not have to have power."

"I killed _younglings. Younglings._" Obi-Wan nodded. His face was grim.

"Yes. The shedding of such innocent blood is a despicable act… You always regretted it, somewhere, did you not?"

_Yes, _Anakin thought, _I did. Somewhere. There were moments when I wasn't past feeling, when I could feel remorse. _

"Remorse is not a weakness, Anakin. On the contrary, it is a sign of true strength."

"I can never forgive myself."

"They forgive you," Obi-Wan said. "The younglings."

"How?" Anakin asked, pain filling his heart.

"The heart of a child is pure above all else. It harbors the total power of the Force. They forgive you. And I forgive you."

"What? How? I tried to kill you! I did kill you! I hated you! I betrayed you and everyone else," Anakin said bitterly.

"Anakin, you were always my brother," Obi-Wan said softly. "And I have always loved you as such. What happened can never be entirely forgotten, but we must move on. You, in turn, must learn to let go of the past. Holding to it will cause only pain. Anakin, after all those years spent in the Dark, it's time for you to see the Light."

Anakin's eyes burned with tears. He didn't deserve this. He deserved Obi-Wan's hate and malice, not his love.

"But–" he began again. Obi-Wan shook his head.

"You have always had it in you. You felt pure love and compassion for your son. That _is _the Light Side. It just needed you to let it come back."

Anakin shook his head slowly.

"Master, I… I'm so sorry. For it all. I can never begin to apologize for everything."

"I know. Again, that is why you are here. The Force believes you worthy."

Obi-Wan extended his hand down to Anakin, who hesitantly took it. The former pulled Anakin to his feet and they embraced as brothers. Anakin's tears finally fell.

"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I'm so sorry."

"I know. And I forgive you."

"Thank you," Anakin said. "For teaching Luke. For being the father I could not be for him."

Obi-Wan smiled.

"He is the best of you. But come, Master Yoda wishes to speak to you."

Obi-Wan led Anakin further into the beach. They walked in silence, but the kind of silence that makes one feel in harmony with the world. Master Yoda sat meditating upon a rock not far away.

"Ah, young Anakin. Returned, you have. Very pleased, I am," he said without turning.

"Master Yoda… I'm sorry," Anakin said. He truly was.

"Sorry. Hmm. Very good. But time for talking now, there is none. Go, we must. Time to see your children, it is."

"What?" Anakin asked in surprise. "How?"

"Ah yes! Enjoying themselves, they seem to be. Come now," Yoda said, and he closed his eyes and disappeared.

"What?" Anakin asked, turning to Obi-Wan.

"He has returned to mortality as a ghost, as only Jedi can. You can see your children again and speak to them."

"I'm not–I can't–"

"You are a Jedi, and you can," Obi-Wan said. "Concentrate on the Force; let it guide you."

A second later, Obi-Wan too had vanished. Anakin closed his eyes, attempting to concentrate, to focus on the pull of the Force. When he opened his eyes, he was standing next to the Masters. Straight ahead was a crowd of people, still living, and he saw his son. Luke's eyes wandered to the place where the three stood. He looked first at the Masters, who smiled and nodded. When his eyes met Anakin's, he instantly knew that this was his father, though he had never seen him so young. Leia came to Luke's side and she too saw the ghosts; likewise, she realized who Anakin was. She had not been as willing to forgive as Luke had–she had inherited her father's stubbornness. But seeing him there, with the Masters, she knew that he had been justified. It would take a while yet for her to truly forgive him, but at least it was a start.

Anakin looked at his children in wonder. _His _children. Smiling, they nodded to him and rejoined the celebration. Luke was everything he could ever have hoped for in a son, and Leia was the image of Padmé. _Padmé. _The thought of her caused him momentary panic. What he would give to see her again, one last time… but he couldn't. Couldn't possibly face her after all that he had put her through. A small part of his brain reasoned that he'd been able to face Obi-Wan… But no. Padmé was different. He had hurt her in ways more painful than he cared to remember.

"Here, she is. Waiting, she is," came the voice of Master Yoda, omniscient as ever. Lost in his thoughts, Anakin had not realized that they had returned to the beach. He shook his head.

"I can't do it."

"Anakin, you must," Ob-Wan said. In his heart, Anakin knew he was right. It just seemed so impossible. He wanted so greatly to know the truth, the whole truth...

"Sidious told me that in my anger, I killed her." he began. "But Luke and Leia are alive..."

Obi-Wan instantly saw what it was that Anakin wished so deeply to know.

"She did not die on Mustafar by strangulation. She was still alive, if only slightly. I took her to a medical center for her injuries, but the shock, it seemed, pushed her into premature labor. She was–" he stopped suddenly, unsure of whether or not to continue.

"Please... I have to know..." Anakin said, barely a whisper of a voice. His face was twisted in pain. Obi-Wan nodded.

"It was a very difficult birth. Acutely painful for her. All the while, she was screaming for you. Screaming and pleading and apologizing."

Anakin remembered all too well the dream that had pushed him over the edge; Padmé lying on a table, writhing and sobbing. _Anakin, Anakin, I love you. I'm so sorry. _

"She lived long enough to name her children. She gave me a pendant; her unspoken last request to be buried with it. And then she was gone."

"But waited many years for you, she has," Yoda said. "Find her, you must."

Anakin nodded, but found himself unable to speak. He had killed her, that much was always certain to him. But to have her die in the very way he had tried so hard to prevent... it was anguish. But she had _waited _for him. Why?

"She is in the Palace," Obi-Wan said. He gestured to the large building close by and Anakin began to walk. More accurately, his legs began to carry him, for his mind was conscious of nothing save the dread and misgiving. Soon, he walked up the marble steps and entered the palace. Without stopping to think, he knew where he was going, where she would be. His heavy footsteps echoed in the long corridors. Time seemed to cease as he walked past the places that flooded his mind with memory after memory.

He paused a moment outside of the room he knew so well. The door was open. There she sat, with her back to him, facing the ever-burning fire. She wore her wedding dress and white flowers were weaved throughout her dark hair. It took all of his willpower to step inside. She did not move as he entered, apart from a slight flinch as he neared her.

"Stop," she commanded, her voice quivering yet determined. He instantly froze, a few feet away and behind her still.

Her–and his–heart quickened. Her eyes welled with tears threatening to spill over at every passing second. The silence lasted an eternity, but she would not–could not–speak. Nor could she bear to see the face of the man whom she still loved so deeply. It cut her to the very soul, being here with him now. But she could not allow herself to lose her self control.

"I am so deeply, truly sorry," he said. His voice was soft and hoarse from crying. She did not want to hear his voice, the voice she had waited twenty-three years for. A moment passed.

"You're sorry," was all that she said, not even a question. She did not trust herself to say anything more. Behind her, Anakin nodded.

"Yes. For all the pain I've caused you, caused everyone. For not loving and trusting you as I should have. For everything."

It was silent, and Anakin saw her hands move, playing with the pendant he had once made for her. The pendant that had been her final living request.

"You have always deserved better than me," he whispered. She shook her head; she could not let him continue.

"Why? Why did you do it?" she finally asked.

"I was so afraid. Afraid of losing you. My nightmares… you were dying… I wanted to protect you. I wanted to save you."

"You _caused_ the nightmare. On the road to preventing it you forced it to be reality," she said in a hollow voice.

"I know." His voice, in contrast, carried the pain of a thousand years.

"I died of a broken heart. I died loving you, believing there was good yet in you. All those years ago, in this very room, I said it would destroy our lives. It did. It destroyed me. It destroyed us both."

Anakin shut his eyes tightly as tears freely fell from them.

"You killed younglings. You killed me and Obi-Wan… You tortured our daughter and tried to corrupt our son. Luke and Leia should have grown up at home, with a family. They needed a mother and a father to be there for him, but they were cruelly deprived of having either. I lived only long enough to name them. I have never seen my children, and I will never have the chance to until they have passed mortality."

_Of course, _Anakin thought. He should have realized it before; she could not use the Force to return to the mortal world. The agonizing pain of it ripped through him. It wasn't right, he felt, that she could not visit them when he could. She had always been there for them, and he... Well, she had already said it. He remembered the day she had told him of her pregnancy, remembered his complete and perfect joy at the revelation. They could have had so much...

"Obi-Wan has been kind enough to tell me about them; but I cannot see them with my own eyes. He says that Leia is a politician and that Luke resembles his father." Her voice nearly cracked; she had always wanted her little boy to look like his father.

"Luke has your good heart and determination. Leia has your eyes and strong will."

Whatever self control Padmé had was quickly slipping away from her. Tears fell from her eyes and it was futile to try to stop them.

"Do you regret it?" she asked.

"Everything I have done? Yes. I regret everything that made me Vader. I regret all the pain I have caused you. The pain I still cause you."

"No," she whispered. Her voice shook. "Not that. Do you regret _us?" _

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. It was a moment before he could answer.

"I regret many things. But no, I could never regret us. Do you?" he asked, his worst fears suddenly realized.

"Sometimes I wish that our lives could have ended that day on Geonosis. It would have been easier, less painful."

"Luke and Leia?" he asked. She shook her head.

"I love you, Anakin. I have never stopped and I never will." The tears fell faster and faster and she trembled as she spoke. "But I cannot bear to see you."

Anakin nodded. He had expected no less, and deserved even slighter.

"I love you, Padmé," he said. Tears still burned his eyes as he left the room, closing the door behind him. Alone, Padmé had finally broken. She began to cry in earnest. She sobbed herself to sleep, still next to the fire and clutching the pendant in her hand.

* * *

Anakin sat alone on the terrace. He was unable to tear his thoughts away from her… He could feel her presence, her pain. He could feel her tears and cried with her. The memories of everything that had happened on this terrace filled his mind: the first time he kissed her, their wedding.

"I love you," he whispered into the darkness. He did not sleep that night. He stood on the terrace, looking out into the distance and barely moving. His entire self was overwhelmed with excruciating pain.

Padmé suddenly awoke. Her cheeks were still wet and her breath short. She stared down at the pendant in her hand for a moment and her heart was full. She slowly stood and left the room; though her logical mind protested, her heart led her...

It was early morning when Anakin heard soft footsteps behind him. His breath caught in his throat as he stood, tense in anticipation. Something was different, he could feel it. But for good or ill? A second later, she embraced him from behind, resting her head on his shoulder. He relaxed as he turned and took her into his arms. She cried into his chest and he gently kissed the top of her head.

"Can you ever forgive me?" he whispered.

"I already have," was her soft reply. Anakin's eyes once again threatened to spill over–this time with tears of joy.

"I love you, Padmé."

"I love you, Ani."

She turned her face up to look at him and he tenderly stroked her cheek.

"Always," he said.

"And forever."

He took her face in his hands and tilted her head up, pressing his lips to hers. It was a soft kiss, and in it was their infinite love for each other. The morning sun began to rise–for love _is _the Light that brings the dawn.

The End

* * *

**I know. The end is a bit fluffy, but I like it. I hope you've enjoyed this; the song Across the Stars from Attack of the Clones was a big inspiration. In my head, it was playing the entire time Anakin and Padmé spoke. For all of the musical people out there: after Anakin left and Padmé started sobbing, I imagined the section (around the middle) of the song when the melody is played with an octave chord. And when Anakin stood alone, the melody played on the violin. **

**In regards to all the other depictions of this same scene, I really do like them, but they never really show Anakin's redemption. **

**Anyway, your thoughts on the story would be very much appreciated. It is always deeply gratifying for a writer to receive a well-rounded critique; I would ask you to please take the time to leave one! The story is as of now a one-shot, but if people like it, I might do a few others. Not necessarily continuations, but just other standalone pieces. Maybe. Thank you!**


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